Crime does not pay enough
by ConArtist 24-7
Summary: Lockdown takes up a bounty on Desperado, a thieving mech on Earth. Just how much trouble should it be taking him back to his employers alive? More then its worth, which he is soon to find out.
1. Chapter 1

Desperado slid around a sharp bend on the slick water covered road, grinning behind his full-face black visor, sleek red body moving fast enough for the water droplets on him to simply roll off. The wheels, which were made to be functional no matter what the weather, on his peddes acted like skates as he drifted around in his bi-pedal form late at night, uncaring if one of those human creatures saw him.

The red mech had once been a very well known thief for hire on Cybertron, earning enemies as well as riches, moving up from The Pit that was Kaon to the ever clean and precious gem known as Iacon. Well, until one of those emenies grew a processor and hired someone that would happily take care of Desperado, for a price of course.

'Ah, but I am much too smart for such stupid bountyhunters, no~?' He asked himself mentally, smirking, and spanish accent flowing smoothly.

He turned another corner, grabbing a lamp post to turn much quicker, laughing at the high speed.

Desperado did not miss Kaon, Iacon, or even Cybertron. He found Earth simple and quite relaxing. The thief had easily hacked into a hundreds of bank accounts, taking only a little money from each, and bought a warehouse on the edge of Lake Erie, and was very content with making his own funiture from scrap metal at junk yards. It was almost like the former thief and always Neatural mech turned over a new leaf. 'But the thrill of it all...' A sigh escaped him as he slowed down, the outline of his home visable even in the down pour. Tires rolling up into his peddes, he walked on almost boot like stabilizers, visor breaking int half at the center and sliding to eaither side of his helm only when he entered the steel and wood shelter. It was quiet, which should have relaxed the spanish mech, but it didn't. He felt suddenly on gaurd, like someone was watching him and he did not like it, not one bit. He tensed, and slowly, reached for the flashy gun that he kept at his waist with twitching fingers.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, kid." The red mech froze in his spot when a subtle click was heard right next to his head. "Oh, mierda...Su usted." grummbled Desperado. A deep, rummbling laugh sounded from who was next to him. "Sorry, only bothered to learn english. Mind switchin' it up?"

"Lo sentimos, no hablan ingles~" Turning his head slightly, though slow enough not to be taken as a threat, he smirked up at the bountyhunter he knew all too well.

Lockdown.

The mech who single handedly, nearly, killed him.

Desperado would forever be eternally grateful to the clueless mech he had tossed in the much larger mech's way, giving him enough time to escape. Though he was miffed that said thrown mech was not here to do a repeat.

Lockdown sighed, venting hot air through his vents in irratation. He knew from the information he had recieved from his employeer that Desperado was a smart aft, but he was hoping that a gun to the head would knock that personality trait out of him. A frown tugged at his white lips. It was a shame that he could not simply kill the thief, for his client was offering an extremely interesting upgrade for him alive. He almost felt bad for the smaller red mech for what was to come. Almost.

"I'm not goin' to tell you again. I know you can spe-"

"Soy un tiburón~ Soy un tiburón~ Chuparme la polla~ Soy un tiburón~!" Lockdown growl and grabbed a pair of stasis cuffs from his subspace pocket and slapped them onto the nearly singing thief, who just laughed. "Alguien está de mal humor." was the pouty responce, orange optics shining. "Yeah, keep yuckin' it up, kid, 'cause my client wants you for himself." The bountyhunter watched with amusement as the young mech's optics seemed to dull with fear. "W-Who?"

"Ha, so you can speak english."

"Really? I couldn't tell." Lockdown shoved Desperado forward, back out the door and into the rain. "Smart aft."

"Rather be a smart aft then a dumb aft."

"Then I would hate to be your femme creator."

"Eres un hijo de puta!" Even not knowing what the other was saying, the tattooed mech could already guess it was an insult. And he took great pleasure at shoving the younger mech face down in the mud.

-To be continued-

Translations!

Oh, mierda...Su usted: Oh fuck... its you

Lo sentimos, no hablan ingles: Sorry, no speak english

Soy un tiburón~ Soy un tiburón~ Chuparme la polla~ Soy un tiburón: I'm a shark~ I'm a shark~ Suck my dick~ I'm a shark

Alguien está de mal humor: Someone's grumpy

Eres un hijo de puta: You son of a bitch


	2. Chapter 2

((I would like to thank DECEPTIve and CONnivig for reviewing! I dedicate this chapter to you

Shit load of spanish in this chapter, translations courteous of Google translator. ))

"Oh, Y ahora, el final está cerca~ Y yo frente a la cortina final de~"

Lockdown growled from where he stood, in front of one of the many racks that held his mods. The mech he had captured had started singing in Spanish, which was quickly fraying the already short tempered bounty hunter.

"Así que adiós a los conflictos~ Este es el último baile de mi vida~"

Desperado was grinning under his visor, which was once again in place. He could see the older neutral twitch every so often, and it gave him some satisfaction. 'Well, as much satisfaction as one can get when strapped down on a particularly uncomfortable table, eh?' He had tried to escape the moment Lockdown took off the stasis cuffs to strap him down, but had failed miserably. After a few hours of rambling on and on in Spanish, as well as English, just to annoy his captor, he changed up his tactics. Singing was much more effective.

"Señor, de esto estoy segur~. He sido un pecador~ He sido un santo~"

"Kid, I swear to Primus, I'll beat you senseless if you don't-"

"Hecho cosas buenas y malas~ Oh, Pero al final, yo estaba bien con mis amigos~"

Desperado sang louder, not caring what the older mech threatened to do to him. He could not kill him if he wanted the upgrade offered, so the ex-thief saw no reason to listen, at least not yet.

"Y eso es bastante bueno para mí~ Dios mío, dicen que todas las almas que perdonar~ Bueno, si eso es cierto, entonces ¿por qué tiene que haber un infierno~"

Lockdown snarled, red optics narrowing. "This is your last chance. Be quiet." He said through clenched denta, which ground together with irritation.

"Oye, qué es ese olor sulfuroso~ Ahora puedo sentir, el fuego, arrastrándose hasta el muslo~ Me voy al infierno, en un handbasket~ Me voy a- Ah!"

Lockdown brought his saw attachment down, the blades screeching as they moved, stopping a mere inch before the younger neutral's throat. "I said be quiet."

"I thought I was being quiet. Was I really that loud?" Purple optics behind the visor were wide with fear, even though he knew the chances of him being offlined there and then were slim, but his voice was ever smooth and cocky. The saw moved forward half an inch, before switching back into a servo. "You know what, enjoy yourself. In three solar cycles, you're outta here." Lockdown smirked, patting the side of the younger mech's helm patronizingly. 'Heh, maybe before then…' Desperado thought, processor whirling, trying to formulate a plan to keep him from the scrap heap.

-x-

Heavenly silence engulfed Lockdown's ship, sweeter to his audios then any music. 'Or singing for that matter.' He thought with malice, red optics sliding to the side to glare slightly at his recharging captive. This was the first time in vorns he had to keep a live bounty. It was more frustrating than any bounty before, surpassing even his failed attempt to offline Optimus Prime.

Trudging over to the large screen, he opened the file that contained the thief's information. It was unneeded, but his employers gave it to him anyhow. It was the usual things he expected to read when it came to low-life bounties. Born in Kaon, barely in his twentieth vorn of existence, and had been a thief since he could stand on his peddes. The bounty hunter rubbed his chin as he got to the more personal information. Creators, missing and never found, opposite fractions. Spark twin, killed in one of the many fighting rings in Kaon. Desperado, wanted for thieft and trespassing in Autobot homes.

"Huh…" The once ninjabot frowned. Now that he thought about it, the messages he received from his employers seemed to clean cut to be Decepticons. 'With Autobots being the winning fraction this far,' the muscle car was sure, 'if they had wanted to do it themselves, they could have easily caught and dealt with the kid.' So why hire him? Something was not, as the humans say, kosher.

-x-

((Suck ass chapter sucks ass, and I apologize. Next chapter will be better))

Translations:

Oh, Y ahora, el final está cerca~ Y yo frente a la cortina final de: Oh and now the end is near. And I face the final curtain.

"Así que adiós a los conflictos~ Este es el último baile de mi vida~": So goodbye to strife. This is the last dance of my life.

"Señor, de esto estoy segur~. He sido un pecador~ He sido un santo~": Lord, of this I'm certain. I've been a sinner. I've been a saint.

Hecho cosas buenas y malas~ Oh, Pero al final, yo estaba bien con mis amigos: Done both good and evil deeds. Oh, but in the end, I was good to my friends.

"Y eso es bastante bueno para mí~ Dios mío, dicen que todas las almas que perdonar~ Bueno, si eso es cierto, entonces ¿por qué tiene que haber un infierno~": And that's good enough for me. Good lord, they say all souls you forgive. Well, if tha's true, then why does there need to be a hell?

Oye, qué es ese olor sulfuroso~ Ahora puedo sentir, el fuego, arrastrándose hasta el muslo~ Me voy al infierno, en un handbasket~: Hey, whats that sulfury smell? Now I can feel, the fire, creepin up my thigh. I'm going to hell, in a handbasket.

This is a song by Voltaire called Hell in a handbasket. I thought it was fitting.


End file.
